oh we'd be so free, happy alone, sharing a smile, so far from home

I guess I have been contemplating about a lot of things.  It is the worst when I PMS but right now, I have many thoughts running in my head, both good and bad.  I am afraid to rant on this blog.  I wished I was one of those people who can keep her feelings private and sacred from the rest of the world.  But why do I alway feel the need to always pour my thoughts for everyone to try to hear?  Maybe it is because I feel so small and I like being heard.  Ugh, but you know what's ironic, I really want to be ignored at the same time so that way, I don't have to anticipate a response.  Yesterday, I went over to my aunt's shop in Elmhurst and I just felt so bad for her and my uncle.  The recession has hit the shop really hard.  They don't even care if they get robbed because they aren't even selling anything.  And I wanted to sincerely bring my camera to photograph them, not to boost their business or anything, but to document the faces of those hurt by the recession.  You can literally see sadness in their eyes as they sag down every time they speak.  And it is worst when a customer comes in to search for something but leaves embarrassingly, unable to find what he/she needed to purchase.  It is like a pang in my heart because they are my relatives and I want them to succeed.   I want everyone in my life that I love to do well.  And when they don't, I feel bad that they don't.  But yeah, it sounds like such a bad thing to want to photograph sad people, but that is why I love photography.  You can embrace the person in the photograph without even knowing him/her if you become really good.  Every time I take a good photograph, I feel a thrill through my bones.  It as though I caught a moment in time so perfect and so grand.  I feel as though I have control over time for once, that for an instant, I got to see what I wanted; not what God wanted me to see.  I had eyes.  And I had a say.  That is why I am seriously considering upgrading my lens ($200) for the 70-300 mm zoom lens.  They are magical.  If only I could've zoomed in closer in those zoo animal pictures.  Like I am fine the way they are, I have no doubt they could've been better with new lens, but overall, I was very satisfied.

Yesterday, I bought my first concert ticket to see Kings of Leon.  Some of my favorite songs from them are: True Love Way, Fans, and Manhattan.  I like to dance all night.  Hah, great lyrics to open a song!  It makes my heart smile, sincerely.  Sept 11-- WOOT BOSTON!